I never could imagine being 20 weeks pregnant, but here I am at 20 weeks and 3 days and our little baby bird is the size of a small cantaloupe, and weighs almost a pound. It's amazing, really. Pregnancy has left me full of wonder and amazement and even with the hard moments... the nausea, and the back pain, the acid reflux (that's a new and very unpleasant experience) even throughout those moments I can still say with honesty that I LOVE being pregnant. I love knowing I have this little life growing inside of me.
Jeff and I have been married for almost six years, and we've been a couple for nearly thirteen. Even before we got married we knew we didn't want to start a family right away. We wanted to explore our relationship as a husband and a wife. We wanted to make new memories as a "family" through adventure and travel. We bought our house, we got a dog and even after that we still waited two years before deciding we were as ready as we would ever be to have a baby. We still found reasons to wait, but we realized we were happy, we were secure in our careers, we had a home to call our own, and we had made so many more memories in out marriage. We had travelled, and wanted to continue to travel but in showing a new little life the beautiful world we live in.
To think back on that moment, this moment of being halfway through my pregnancy seemed so foreign at the time. What's also interesting is how during our struggle to conceive I felt crushed. My heart was constantly broken, my soul always hurt. But then, we got past the scariest part of pregnancy and got to a point where we felt our baby bird was "safe" and suddenly those two years don't seem so bad. It's hard to remember the pain when your heart is suddenly so full. This twenty week milestone was huge for my heart.
Baby has been giving me little flutter-like kicks for a couple weeks now, but just this week she/he got a little stronger and I can feel baby doing little rolls and flip-flops. My placenta is anterior meaning at the front of my uterus so it's still acting as some extra cushioning against baby's movement from the outside but two nights ago Jeff finally felt baby move for the first time! Baby gave him a little flip flop and I was so happy he finally got to feel his baby move. And this morning, I felt baby give me a real KICK! Not a faint flutter, not a somersault but an actual kick. It was the strangest yet most incredible feeling.
Week 20 of pregnancy has been wonderful so far. We're only a few days away from our anatomy scan so I'm eager to see our sweet little babe again and know that everything is growing as it should.
It's been such a week of reflection and thankfulness with Thanksgiving having just passed and I truly couldn't be more grateful. As I sign off on this post, baby is kicking away again. Just a little bit of love from our sweet baby bird.